My Feline Fantasy

Love for me was that heater of warmth and that shower of strong intimacy that mettled my family block.I could always see myself in the ambience of amour, woven in the strings of compassion which were powdered in heaps by the biggies.

Still,as a child i could not reciprocate that love.I could definitely feel those vibes around me,my mom and dad loved me and according to ongoing beliefs,i loved them too but that notion,called love stayed alien to me.

Not to be misinterpretated as a hater here,because i was not,but still i could not generate that from my core.I was always taught that the virtues,feelings and other intangible human stimuli had a heart-connect to them,but my heart signalled only doubt---->

• One day i inquired a friend "how could a mother love her children so dearly that her own interests sit in the drain??
• I further questioned "would you ever love your children above you??"
• How could a father volunteer to leave at 7 in the morning and arrive at 8 in the evening for 300 days a year,earning extra bucks for a few people back home.
• If he really loved them upto that magnitude ,why wouldn't he just stay with them???
• They told me be a giver ,not a taker.How could i possibly survive this cookie-cutting competition if i always had my hand on the higher side??

** Again i might interrupt,i was never and never will be demonic or a hater or cold-stone hearted!!

We are so very blessed by an ever-giving nature around us,which floats an answer to every question.It`s only the self-sightedness and our mean-spirits that it takes time for us to realise.Here,starts my tale-

My elders always worked up to spread an essence of idealism in the aura.Fibre intake was good for my bowel,so i was served with mariegold biscuits.While chomping on 2 of them in my backyard,i saw her ,cuddled and purring there ,besides the grill but on the other side.The cuteness was mesmersing for a cat so small yet rotund.The brown random slapdash patterned was surely a she,for the charm and the grace she exhibited were never seen as characters of the darker sex.Trying not to frighten her away,i just caressed her by words and offered her biscuits.Surprisingly,she ate a few iotas before fleeing.

It was not meant to end that way.The following day i had her gaping across the front door as if she came to a fixed engagement to see someone.Now,that was nice and a surprise.Assuming the kitten wanted more from me,i poured her milk in a bowl and that bowl remained at that doorstep for the next 7 years we shared lives.Called sweetie,her daily ordeals with me started with her staring at me through the doorgauze while i did my tasks,then i would offer her milk and an ocassional fish and ended with me talking to her endless for hours while she scratched herself and engaged in playfull activity around my legs and feet.And i did shed tears when the imminent age caught up with her,for a few days,most of the time i couldn't believe she was dead.

That feline fantasy of mine made me love someone ,more than myself.For her only i would vye to go against my mom,who would not approve of her and punished me by choosing food for one.I chose to feed her,while i remained foodless for hours.Still,when i got her food,that serenity was like life fulfillment.I would let her live forever,i always dreamt,no matter what.

And there my quest remained answered when it took my heart strings no reasons to give away a lifetime to someone!

P.S.:I don't aspire for nine lives.This one lifetime experience was worth it!!

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